Still Not Satisfied, Padres Acquire Red Sox’ Green Monster (Satire)

Posted: 3rd December 2009 by Lewie Pollis in MLB
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At a press conference today, new San Diego Padres GM Jed Hoyer announced that the team has agreed to purchase Fenway ParkÆs legendary ôGreen Monsterö from the Boston Red Sox. This news comes in the wake of Hoyerùthe Red SoxÆ Assistant GM before being hired by the Padres six weeks agoùselecting BostonÆs Scouting Director, Jason McLeod, as his own Assistant GM. ôWhen I bought the team a year ago, I said I wanted to take it in a new direction,ö owner Jeff Moorad said, ôAfter a few months of thinking about it, I realized that my ænew directionÆ was exactly what the Red Sox had been doing all along.ö HoyerÆs announcement of the purchase of the Green Monster evoked mixed reactions from the crowd; a few screamed ôWhat?ö while the rest simply looked dumbfounded. When asked what eff ...

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Article written by Lewie Pollis

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