Breaking News: Panthers Drop Miller Lite As Beer Sponsor (Satire)

Posted: 15th September 2009 by Ben Aikey in NFL
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As announced by team owner Jerry Richardson early this morning, the Carolina Panthers have dropped Miller Lite as their corporate beer sponsor. “It’s been a good run, but after what happened Sunday, drastic measures had to be taken,” said Richardson during the press conference. “It was a bad loss, and to return to the top of the NFC, we feel it’s time to go in another direction in terms of cold, refreshing post-game brew. It’s all Miller Lite’s fault that we lost to the Eagles. I mean come on; it’s spelled L-I-G-H-T, not L-I-T-E. Get hooked on phonics already.” According to head coach John Fox, after the successful opening drive that culminated in an 11-yard touchdown rush by DeAngelo Williams, the entire offensive line and stable of qu ...

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