Any Day Now: News That’s Bound to Break

Posted: 10th November 2009 by Christopher C. Wuensch in MLB
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Sports Satire by Christopher C. Wuensch Months after a November photo revealed a drastic difference in Sammy SosaÆs now-lighter skin tone, the infamous Chicago Cubs slugger admits attempts to ôdesaparezca fuera de vista.ö Translation: disappear out of sight. A frail Sosa was a mere shell of his former 6-foot, 220-pound Earth-thundering self when he sat down recently with reporters. SlamminÆ Sammyùhe of a sixth-best all-time 609 dingers and a U-Haul full of steroid allegations in towùconfessed to recently taking a herbal supplement grown along the shoreline of the Yaque Del Sur river of his native Dominican Republic. The ground-root herb cocktail Sosa had been ingesting twice weekly was literally causing him to disappear. A week after the interview, the only thing left of Sosa was a m ...

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Article written by Christopher C. Wuensch

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