Note: the quotes in this article are fictional.
San Francisco @ St. Louis (+7)
With a win in St. Louis, the 49ers would finish 8-8, with a winning percentage just slightly lower than Alex Smith's completion percentage, but much higher than the typical percentage fee charged by bail bondsmen, or, as known to Michael Crabtree, "agent responsible for negotiating my financial security."
"Hey, I've learned a lot this year," says Crabtree. "Most importantly, the fact that in contract negotiations, it's best if your agent doesn't carry a sidearm. I've heard of signing contracts with a ballpoint, but never at gunpoint.
"And speaking of 'warning shots,' a win over the Rams would give us a 5-1 division record, best in the West, and would signal to our division rivals that there'll be a new sheriff ...
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Article written by Jeffrey Boswell
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